Just Me

Love

Fri, 19 Sep 2008 20:55:14 GMT

I want sex so bad.

Tue, 15 Apr 2008 03:36:09 GMT

I miss you. Or maybe just this amazing idea of you that I made in my head. So i guess i miss who you used to be, if you ever were that person. Or maybe i just wanted you to be what i needed. Something to fill a void, to fill my thoughts. Something to make me hopeful. But from what i can tell, your not who you used to be and neither am i. So i give in, i forfeit.

Dear Music,

Tue, 18 Sep 2007 04:27:28 GMT

You frustrate me!!!!

The end!

Honesty?

Tue, 04 Sep 2007 03:27:30 GMT

Isn't it a pretty ironic concept that the people you trust and care about the most have the biggest potential to hurt you? I'm pretty sad that this is how it is. Maybe i just put too much faith in people. I really like to give people the benefit of the doubt but.... I don't know how this will play out.

I feel embarassed and stupid when i'm left in the dark. I'm honest with everyone else. I've never blatenly lied to someone about something that you know would hurt their feelings.

I think what hurts the most is it was people that i trust the most.

I really hope its all a big misunderstanding.... I have a feeling that its not...

Why?

Tue, 14 Aug 2007 06:42:30 GMT

Why can't life be easy? Well I guess that if everything was easy we couldn't appreciate the easy times. It just seems like theres alot right now. Overwhelming I guess. Everything is just happening and theres nothing I can do anymore.

Why do I let myself care so much. I wasn't supposed to care. I'm the one that tells everyone else not to get so involved. Next thing I know i'm sinking and theres nothing I can do.

I can't be upset at people. Just upset at myself. Just disappointed. I'm not supposed to be this "person". I'm not supposed to feel this way.

I'll feel better soon. Thanks for caring enough to listen. Love you all!

Tue, 07 Aug 2007 07:05:04 GMT

What is time? Is it the autumn leaves that change? Or the snow that floats from the sky?

I'm tired of...

Wed, 21 Feb 2007 03:28:48 GMT

- Pretending i'm happy.
- Trying my hardest and not seeing an outcome.
- Feeling this way.
- Missing people.
- Saying goodbye to people.

Overall i'm tired of being at a stand still. There is nothing in this world that is changing around me. People are coming and going and alot of the people that I care most about I never see anymore. I'm just so sick of it and ready to be done. It will change.

Thoughts.

Tue, 13 Feb 2007 03:24:09 GMT

Do you ever get to the point when everything feels pointless? Nothing matters anymore. Its all because something is missing... You don't totally know what that something is that you might be missing. But you turn all your energy toward trying to figure it out. So therefore you really don't care about anything else... The truth is, is that i'm pretty sure that I know what my dilemma is. It sucks becaue its nothing that I can really deal with at the moment or really fix... Just blame it on horrible timing. Its horrible because its taking up all my thoughts and emotional energy. I need those, lol. I guess I just have to let time pass...

Any thoughts?

Dear Stephie,

Fri, 19 Jan 2007 19:15:31 GMT

I'm sorry if my information that I told you last night was the "disappointing information" you are referring to. I just thought you would have rather known then, than getting home and not knowing... and then it being too late. I'm sorry... :(

Can you save us?

Wed, 10 Jan 2007 06:12:03 GMT

I can't go on. Out of rhythm, without time...

Dear Love,

Sat, 23 Dec 2006 20:34:05 GMT

I hate thinking about you... You drive me crazy! But at the same time I love the thought of you.

Rent Pictures of you!

Wed, 15 Nov 2006 22:15:03 GMT

Alright..... so i need pictures... because i had this AMAZING idea to make something....

But i need "Rent" pictures... Pictures of my friends from when they look like Rent caracters.... I know there has to be some out there. So if you think you look like one of the Rent characters in one of your pictures send it to me!!!

♥

Email: melissastabley@aim.com

If you honestly don't care about me don't read this.

Mon, 23 Oct 2006 06:51:38 GMT

I have to say that I'm hurting. I'm sick of saying I'm fine and pretending like theres nothing wrong. I have to say I'm human and I hurt too. I like to pretend that I am "super girl" but in reality its far from the truth. I KNOW i'm preaching to the choir on this one. I know almost all of my friends have hurt before. I just feel really weak right now. I'm waiting for strength to come and its delayed.

I L-O-V-E the idea of love. But I am soooooo scared. I feel so left out. Almost like everyone has experienced something... I wonder what is wrong with me and why in gods name I just can't seem to find someone.... No i'm not picky... I mean of course I want someone that is right for me but.... its not that difficult.

I was actually talking to Mal about a situation with a guy.... I don't want a "relationship" with him but i would like to stay his friend.... But its soooooo hard. It would be alot easier if he would talk to me. He used to be a person that I would talk to when I thought nobody else would understand but now hes absent from my life. I mean I know I can talk to any of my good friends about anything.... he just used to give me different answers and make me look at things in a different light.

I just want something.... ANYTHING to just make everything be alright. I know I don't need someone to make me happy and that I have to make myself happy first but its sooooo hard. I know I love myself. I know it. But for once i just want someone else to love me too. Just to see what I see and to see what all of my friends see.

I seriously don't want anyone to worry about me or what not.... I just got this urge to put this out there. I know someone else is feeling the same way that I am. So pretty much I'm letting you know that your not alone and I hope I'm not either.

Life now.

Fri, 08 Sep 2006 05:53:06 GMT

I'm just upset... But I don't just randomly get upset. I kind of just let things pile up and pile up. Then i break down and I write one of these. I seriously feel like a yoyo right now!

So there was this guy.... Um yeah yoyo. Soooo he really liked me. I was liking the idea. But all the sudden he has a girlfriend. Woops. Thats over. Now I talk to him and I feel like a yoyo. No joke.

This macombers audtion. Granted it was a late audition. I had a fairly good audtion. I mean i didn't do as well as i would have wished. But now.... i didn't make it. Thats totally fine. I'm pretty used to not getting parts in things. Thats the business. But then when your told you might still be in it but you have to wait like a week to find out. Its crazy. I'm someone that kind of needs a straight answer so i can get over it. Move on to something else. Its pretty annoying.

With the whole GVSU thing. I REALLY wanted to go and my mom was like "Go ahead that would be fun." Yeah well then she changed her mind and said that we really shouldn't go this weekend after I was all excited about it. I really wanted to see everyone!

I just feel really alone. I know everyone cares about me. But I don't think anyone can really fully relate to my situation right now. Just having all this happen in the past three days really takes a tole on ones emotions and mental state. So none of my friends are home. The few that are home have school. I'm really getting tired of crying myself to sleep. Somethings got to give. Something has got to change.

I'll figure it out. Thanks for reading.

Soooo!

Sun, 03 Sep 2006 05:03:17 GMT

I pretty much love my friends... and I'm REALLY happy that they are all home for a couple of days. Love you guys!
xo

Time for an update...

Sat, 05 Aug 2006 06:41:47 GMT

Well tonight I went to go see John Tucker Must Die with Matthew, Mal, Mich, and Mal and Mich's two cousins.... It was fun and I really loved the movie....

Well on another note... I don't know how to put this into words exactly but the most basic way i guess would to say... "Love sucks." Yeah that pretty much sums it up. Granted its not usually "real" love its more like an infatuation... I'll even confess that I have never been in love. Well I really hope I haven't because if I have that really sucks. So I really know for a fact that I have not. I'm pretty sure I would know.......

I'm starting to feel like I'm not right for anyone. Kind of like i don't fit... I mean yeah I have my guy friends which I love.... but nobody that I fit with. Or at least nobody that I can have a chance to fit with. I think ever guy I know always just thinks of me as a friend which kind of sucks... Oh AND if somone does like me they don't tell me. Which is weird because guys with complain

"Well girls don't say what their thinking!"

Well I do. I always have. Any guy that I have had feeling for has known and not because I had a friend tell him its because it came from me. I've told him. But no one will do that for me. No one with stand up and say that to me.

Well unless there is no one..... See but I can't let myself believe that. I can't believe that there is NO ONE has had feelings for me. I'm not saying that because I think i'm "hot shit" I'm saying it because if it were true. How would I find myself attractive? Why would I care what I look like anymore? I just can't let myself believe that. Its just one big horrible thought.

I'm sorry i'm just sick and tired of the bull shit and the games... I want honesty and truth. Just be clear with me thats the ONLY way I can be clear with you.

Thanks for reading! xo     Love you all!

P.S. The underlined phrase goes for everyone.........

hey!

Sun, 14 May 2006 22:09:54 GMT

Yeah i haven't been on here in ALONG time! But I love you all! Prom is in 4 days! YAY!
xo

Music

Thu, 02 Feb 2006 07:17:05 GMT

So I just realized that music is what gets me through really tough times..... Just listening to it. Or singing it. What happens when its gone? What happens if what i'm doing makes me hate it? I can't let that happen. Music is seriously my life.... Its my passion and its the first thing i think about in the morning.

Sorry just some thoughts!
xo

Thu, 02 Feb 2006 06:17:24 GMT

Will someone care?

Will i wake tomorrow, from this nightmare?

Haha pretty awesome!

Tue, 17 Jan 2006 18:22:15 GMT

Click here.
Take the quiz.
Post your results.
1) Are sayovenchetti and techno_sashay going steady? haha no.
2) Thoughts on elosamin? Shes amazing!
3) How would ae_titan conquer the world? He wouldn't.
4) If elosamin took over the world, who would be happy? Theatre people everywehere
5) What would you do if techno_sashay died? Cry for a looooong time.
6) What is ae_titan's favorite band/artist? Carrie Underwood.
7) Did lmewithoutyoul break up with you? nope
8) If lmewithoutyoul commanded an army, who would be his/her followers? Me and all the other smart people of the world.
9) What planet should techno_sashay be from? Venus.
10) What flavor of jello would yorkomagic be? Cherry.
11) Which president would elosamin be likely to idolize? None.
12) Does techno_sashay have a dog? Did.... I don't know anymore.
13) What color should elosamin dye their hair? PINK! Well all of it pink!
14) Could you see ae_titan and miz_sparkles together? NO no no!
15) Would yorkomagic go out with techno_sashay? No way would either of them agree on that.
16) Does gttoys2107 drink? Not enough
17) Do you have miz_sparkles's screenname? Yes! I think....
18) Do you have a crush on lmewithoutyoul? Did. Not anymore!
19) One quality you find attractive in yorkomagic? voice.
20) Would you ever date albhedsega? Um prom hello!
21) What would you do if you found out albhedsega has a crush on you? hahaha
22) Is like__a__movie friends with elosamin? OMG YES! Best of!
23) What video game does sayovenchetti remind you of? Um no idea....
24) What would sayovenchetti think of elosamin? Shes a cool unique person.
25) What do you agree with albhedsega about? Prom will rock!
26) Is yorkomagic a college student? nope
27) Is techno_sashay 1337? no
28) What comic book character would gttoys2107 be? I don't read comic books!
29) Does miz_sparkles go to your school? not anymore :(
30) If gttoys2107 took over the world, who would suffer? Stupid people! That didn't work at summit sports center!

Awesome!

Mon, 09 Jan 2006 00:05:41 GMT

Alright so i just got my new car today! It is fucking amazing! I LOVE IT! Its silver! YAY! I probably couldn't tell you anything else.... lol. Yes I am a girl and i don't pay attention to that stuff.... I can't drive it until later tomorrow when we get the plates and ensurance put on it. But yeah i'm excited! Love you all!
xo

Fri, 06 Jan 2006 12:16:37 GMT

Alright so last night we went to the Hay Loft and it was pretty fun. I saw Joe there and i was pretty suprised but not really..... Whatever. Well i danced with some hot guys and with ones that turned out to be a little on the crazy side but whatever. One guy was an amazing dancer it was pretty crazy. I couldn't breakdance or anything because i def. wore the wrong shoes it sucked. Otherwise i would have shown his ass up.... lol probably not... But i can do some things :-p. Yeah so next time we go we need ALOT more people to go! Well i love you all! If you ever want to go to a club call me! It'll be a blast ;).
xo

This should be fun!

Wed, 04 Jan 2006 10:52:13 GMT

This is what one person thinks.... So relax.

1. You are an amazing person. We have done everything together. My partner in crime. (I wonder who this is? lol). I just whish you would tell people what your feeling more often. Don't try and always just please others you have to be true to yourself.

2. You are so fun. I wish you would speak your mind more often to the people that need to hear it. But i wish you would take a step back from your life and make sure you make good decisions for yourself. Its just that you are such a great person and one of my best friends and i don't want to ever see you get hurt.

3. I seriously miss you ALOT! I remember the first time i opened up to you and we had a conversation, and i told you all my problems. I was sooooo ~> amazed that someone actually sat there and listend to my whole senior year story. That really meant alot to me. Then the one night at your house when we were talking till like 4 am. That was fun too! Your an awesome person and i'm really glad I always have you to talk to.

4. I would have to say that i think you are a good person when you want to be. You are extremely talented with your voice. But when you know you are and you let everyone else know that you know you are..... that kinda ruins it and it makes people think that your a jerk. We have had alot of great times together that i will never forget. You are a good person. I just think that you've changed alot and maybe lost a little of who you were. Oh and another thing.... I don't like you anymore... The only thing that hurts me Is that i ruined a BIG important part of my senior caring about what you think. When all along it didn't matter! You were to busy going after my best friend. Oh and you pretened not to notice what was going on when all along you knew exactly what was going on. Well its in the past i had to get it out.

5. It really weird that we aren't friends anymore. I'm not going to be fake and sugar coat it. You did hurt me. I know that you know you did. I also know that you are extremely sorry for it. But if that one thing meant more to you then our friendship then thats fine. I didn't realize it so much then. Maybe because i was so hurt. But you gave up the majority of your friends including your best friend (me) for that one thing. I hope it was worth it. I'm sure it was. To tell you the truth i am happy for you and i don't care. For some reason yeah it sorta does suck and still hurts me when i think about it for some reason. But I'm seriously over it. I don't think we'll ever be as close as we were. I guess we could but it would take alot of time for me to trust you again. Maybe one day.

6. When i first met you i thought you were SOOOOOO nice. Now i'm not so sure. In a way I kinda feel fooled. Like it was never really you. Now it is and you turned out to be a complete jerk. I really hope i'm wrong.... but not for me, for the other people that you effect more then me.

7. Wow we have had some fights where i have NEVER wanted to speak to you again. But i will always love you, and care about you. I know that you need more than just your friends right now and i hope you find that. I will always be here for you. Just don't give up on life. Give it time.

8. You... *points* Oh you.... What is there to say about you? Well our conversations are pretty fucking amazing. You always put a smile on my face. Sometimes i wonder whats going through your mind.... lol. I am soooooo~> happy that i'm going to prom with you (i wonder who this is). We will have a BLAST! I'm happy that you got over what happend to you. Well i don't know if you 100% over it but i don't think you ever will be. Thats pretty tough to get over. But i don't think blocking the "problem" out of your life forever is going to help the matter. But i do love you! You don't have to take my advice just think about it. I love you!

9. Wow okay so throughout reading this i want you to remember that i do like you as a friend i'm just saying what i think. Okay so your an amazing person with great style ;). I really want you to be happy. But wanting a b/f ALL the time doesn't do it. You need to make yourself happy first. Yes you may "love" yourself but I see a person that still isn't all the way secure with themself. Maybe your just still trying to find out who you are. Another thing... you can't just say things that you think people want to hear. You need to say what you think. You also need to learn to notice when something is over. Your whole situation right now. Theres nothing more you can do. Its pretty much over. Thats why you can't think of anything else to do. Its because theres nothing else. I believe that maybe you just have a little more growing up to do. You just need to be more real with people. Maybe your scared.... I don't know.... Thats just what i think. I do love you and I will always be your friend and i will always be there for you.

10. This is for everyone i missed besides my sister and brother there not in here because they always know what i think of them. But yeah if you think i missed you read all of these over again and make sure i missed you before asking me about it! If i did and you care enough about what i think then just ask me.

* I'm not disabling my comments because i'd like to hear what you say back.

Tue, 20 Dec 2005 01:53:55 GMT

Love like it's LJ by jain_child

Username

Take your pick:

Your rock-steady love

elosamin

You think is hot

yorkomagic

You get the money while pretending to love

maybe_its_me

How much $?

$450,968

Your current boy/girlfriend

albhedsega

...who cheats on you with...

ae_titan

The jealous best friend

miz_sparkles

The weird kid in math who wants you in bed

like__a__movie

How much love you got?: 96%

Quiz created with MemeGen!

Tue, 13 Dec 2005 18:34:42 GMT

1. Do you like chinese food?
YES!

2. How big is your bed?
twin.

3. Is your room clean?
Yes.

4. Laptop or Desktop computer?
laptop.

5. Favorite comedian?
Steven Lynch? spelling

6. Do you smoke?
no

7. Does anyone like you?
i don't think so.....

8. Whats the sexiest thing about Condoleeza Rice?
who is that again?

9. Sleep with or without clothes on?
PJs ROCK!

10. Who sleeps with you every night?
my pillow.

11. Do long distance relationships work?
If you care enough to make it work.

12. How many times have you been pulled over by the police?
Never! *Knock on wood*

13. Pancakes or French Toast?
Pancakes

14. Do you like coffee?
love it.

15. How do you like your eggs?
scrambled

16. Do you believe in astrology?
Its interesting to think about.

17. Last person you talked to on the phone?
My mom

18. Last person on your missed call list?
KTO!

19. What was the last text message you received?
Umm i think joe said he hated me... because i didn't go to caribu!

20. Mcdonalds or Burger King?
Neither.... TACO BELL!!!!

21. Number of pillows?
4.... lol i'm a pillow freak!

22. Last thing you ate?
Cereal!

23. Last thing you bought?
gas!

24. What are you hearing right now?
Defying Gravity!!!! Idina Menzel ROCKS!!!!

25. Pick a lyric, any lyric or song?
~Just for this moment, as long as your mine.
~Somehow i've fallen under your spell, and somehow i'm feeling its up that i fell.

26. What kind of jelly do you like on your PB & J sandwich?
Grape!

27. Can you play pool?
Yes

28. Do you know how to swim?
I sure as hell hope so......

29. Favorite ice cream?
Cookie Dough

30. Do you like maps?
No thats why i hat GPS!

31. Tell me a random fact:
I LOVE musicals!

32. Ever played spin the bottle?
yeah.... about that.....

33. Ever attend a theme party?
of course. RHPS!

34. Ever do a keg stand?
Haha yeah... never again!

35. Craziest place you've slept after a night of drinking?
wow....

36. What is your favorite season?
summer and winter

37. What is the first music video you ever saw?
The first i remember was Michael Jackson "Thriller"

38. Pick a movie quote:
Thats gonna leave a mark!

39. Favorite quote:
The future belongs to those who beleive in the power of their dreams.

40. What is your favorite Thirsty Thursday hangout?
Well i work every thurday night!

41. Last time you laughed at something stupid?
last night. Lissa & I were talking on-line and I said, "something baaaaaaaag is happening in Oz" instead of "something bad". I didn't realize it until Lissa told me like, two minutes later. it was hilarious.

42. What time did you wake up this morning?
about 11:00.

43. Wake up next to anyone?
Nope

44. Best thing about winter?
Snow!! Christmas! My Birthday!

45. Name a couple of favorite color
Pink and Green

46. How Old are you?
I'm 18. Soon to be 19!

47. What month is your birthday in?
January!

48. Do you think pirates are cool or overrated?
Who care?!

49. What are you doing this weekend?
Work, Wrestling Countys, Hanging out with Jamie, Hanging out with KTO of course, Hangiing out with BRIAN!!!