| Friday, September 19th, 2008 |
| 3:52 pm |
Love
I want sex so bad. Current Mood:  hotCurrent Music: None |
| Monday, April 14th, 2008 |
| 11:28 pm |
I miss you. Or maybe just this amazing idea of you that I made in my head. So i guess i miss who you used to be, if you ever were that person. Or maybe i just wanted you to be what i needed. Something to fill a void, to fill my thoughts. Something to make me hopeful. But from what i can tell, your not who you used to be and neither am i. So i give in, i forfeit. Current Music: None. |
| Tuesday, September 18th, 2007 |
| 12:25 am |
Dear Music,
You frustrate me!!!!
The end! Current Music: hahaha.... your joking... |
| Monday, September 3rd, 2007 |
| 10:55 pm |
Honesty?
Isn't it a pretty ironic concept that the people you trust and care about the most have the biggest potential to hurt you? I'm pretty sad that this is how it is. Maybe i just put too much faith in people. I really like to give people the benefit of the doubt but.... I don't know how this will play out. I feel embarassed and stupid when i'm left in the dark. I'm honest with everyone else. I've never blatenly lied to someone about something that you know would hurt their feelings. I think what hurts the most is it was people that i trust the most. I really hope its all a big misunderstanding.... I have a feeling that its not... Current Mood:  sadCurrent Music: Dancing (Elisa) |
| Tuesday, August 14th, 2007 |
| 2:21 am |
Why?
Why can't life be easy? Well I guess that if everything was easy we couldn't appreciate the easy times. It just seems like theres alot right now. Overwhelming I guess. Everything is just happening and theres nothing I can do anymore. Why do I let myself care so much. I wasn't supposed to care. I'm the one that tells everyone else not to get so involved. Next thing I know i'm sinking and theres nothing I can do. I can't be upset at people. Just upset at myself. Just disappointed. I'm not supposed to be this "person". I'm not supposed to feel this way. I'll feel better soon. Thanks for caring enough to listen. Love you all! Current Mood:  frustratedCurrent Music: Time |
| Tuesday, August 7th, 2007 |
| 3:03 am |
What is time? Is it the autumn leaves that change? Or the snow that floats from the sky? Current Music: Billy Porter |
| Tuesday, February 20th, 2007 |
| 10:17 pm |
I'm tired of...
- Pretending i'm happy. - Trying my hardest and not seeing an outcome. - Feeling this way. - Missing people. - Saying goodbye to people. Overall i'm tired of being at a stand still. There is nothing in this world that is changing around me. People are coming and going and alot of the people that I care most about I never see anymore. I'm just so sick of it and ready to be done. It will change. Current Mood: disappointed |
| Monday, February 12th, 2007 |
| 10:24 pm |
Thoughts.
Do you ever get to the point when everything feels pointless? Nothing matters anymore. Its all because something is missing... You don't totally know what that something is that you might be missing. But you turn all your energy toward trying to figure it out. So therefore you really don't care about anything else... The truth is, is that i'm pretty sure that I know what my dilemma is. It sucks becaue its nothing that I can really deal with at the moment or really fix... Just blame it on horrible timing. Its horrible because its taking up all my thoughts and emotional energy. I need those, lol. I guess I just have to let time pass... Any thoughts? |
| Friday, January 19th, 2007 |
| 2:11 pm |
Dear Stephie,
I'm sorry if my information that I told you last night was the "disappointing information" you are referring to. I just thought you would have rather known then, than getting home and not knowing... and then it being too late. I'm sorry... :( Current Music: None |
| Wednesday, January 10th, 2007 |
| 1:07 am |
Can you save us?
I can't go on. Out of rhythm, without time... Current Mood:  calmCurrent Music: Cartel |
| Saturday, December 23rd, 2006 |
| 3:31 pm |
Dear Love,
I hate thinking about you... You drive me crazy! But at the same time I love the thought of you. Current Mood:  confused |
| Wednesday, November 15th, 2006 |
| 6:15 pm |
Rent Pictures of you!
Alright..... so i need pictures... because i had this AMAZING idea to make something.... But i need "Rent" pictures... Pictures of my friends from when they look like Rent caracters.... I know there has to be some out there. So if you think you look like one of the Rent characters in one of your pictures send it to me!!! ♥ Email: melissastabley@aim.com Current Mood: annoyedCurrent Music: Leaf blower outside.... |
| Monday, October 23rd, 2006 |
| 2:33 am |
If you honestly don't care about me don't read this.
I have to say that I'm hurting. I'm sick of saying I'm fine and pretending like theres nothing wrong. I have to say I'm human and I hurt too. I like to pretend that I am "super girl" but in reality its far from the truth. I KNOW i'm preaching to the choir on this one. I know almost all of my friends have hurt before. I just feel really weak right now. I'm waiting for strength to come and its delayed.
I L-O-V-E the idea of love. But I am soooooo scared. I feel so left out. Almost like everyone has experienced something... I wonder what is wrong with me and why in gods name I just can't seem to find someone.... No i'm not picky... I mean of course I want someone that is right for me but.... its not that difficult.
I was actually talking to Mal about a situation with a guy.... I don't want a "relationship" with him but i would like to stay his friend.... But its soooooo hard. It would be alot easier if he would talk to me. He used to be a person that I would talk to when I thought nobody else would understand but now hes absent from my life. I mean I know I can talk to any of my good friends about anything.... he just used to give me different answers and make me look at things in a different light. I just want something.... ANYTHING to just make everything be alright. I know I don't need someone to make me happy and that I have to make myself happy first but its sooooo hard. I know I love myself. I know it. But for once i just want someone else to love me too. Just to see what I see and to see what all of my friends see. I seriously don't want anyone to worry about me or what not.... I just got this urge to put this out there. I know someone else is feeling the same way that I am. So pretty much I'm letting you know that your not alone and I hope I'm not either. Current Mood: crushedCurrent Music: Hinder |
| Friday, September 8th, 2006 |
| 1:08 am |
Life now.
I'm just upset... But I don't just randomly get upset. I kind of just let things pile up and pile up. Then i break down and I write one of these. I seriously feel like a yoyo right now!
So there was this guy.... Um yeah yoyo. Soooo he really liked me. I was liking the idea. But all the sudden he has a girlfriend. Woops. Thats over. Now I talk to him and I feel like a yoyo. No joke.
This macombers audtion. Granted it was a late audition. I had a fairly good audtion. I mean i didn't do as well as i would have wished. But now.... i didn't make it. Thats totally fine. I'm pretty used to not getting parts in things. Thats the business. But then when your told you might still be in it but you have to wait like a week to find out. Its crazy. I'm someone that kind of needs a straight answer so i can get over it. Move on to something else. Its pretty annoying.
With the whole GVSU thing. I REALLY wanted to go and my mom was like "Go ahead that would be fun." Yeah well then she changed her mind and said that we really shouldn't go this weekend after I was all excited about it. I really wanted to see everyone!
I just feel really alone. I know everyone cares about me. But I don't think anyone can really fully relate to my situation right now. Just having all this happen in the past three days really takes a tole on ones emotions and mental state. So none of my friends are home. The few that are home have school. I'm really getting tired of crying myself to sleep. Somethings got to give. Something has got to change.
I'll figure it out. Thanks for reading. Current Mood: crushedCurrent Music: Phantom of the Opera (Down once more) |
| Sunday, September 3rd, 2006 |
| 1:02 am |
Soooo!
I pretty much love my friends... and I'm REALLY happy that they are all home for a couple of days. Love you guys! xo Current Mood:  giddyCurrent Music: Stay With Me |
| Saturday, August 5th, 2006 |
| 2:20 am |
Time for an update...
Well tonight I went to go see John Tucker Must Die with Matthew, Mal, Mich, and Mal and Mich's two cousins.... It was fun and I really loved the movie.... Well on another note... I don't know how to put this into words exactly but the most basic way i guess would to say... "Love sucks." Yeah that pretty much sums it up. Granted its not usually "real" love its more like an infatuation... I'll even confess that I have never been in love. Well I really hope I haven't because if I have that really sucks. So I really know for a fact that I have not. I'm pretty sure I would know....... I'm starting to feel like I'm not right for anyone. Kind of like i don't fit... I mean yeah I have my guy friends which I love.... but nobody that I fit with. Or at least nobody that I can have a chance to fit with. I think ever guy I know always just thinks of me as a friend which kind of sucks... Oh AND if somone does like me they don't tell me. Which is weird because guys with complain "Well girls don't say what their thinking!" Well I do. I always have. Any guy that I have had feeling for has known and not because I had a friend tell him its because it came from me. I've told him. But no one will do that for me. No one with stand up and say that to me. Well unless there is no one..... See but I can't let myself believe that. I can't believe that there is NO ONE has had feelings for me. I'm not saying that because I think i'm "hot shit" I'm saying it because if it were true. How would I find myself attractive? Why would I care what I look like anymore? I just can't let myself believe that. Its just one big horrible thought. I'm sorry i'm just sick and tired of the bull shit and the games... I want honesty and truth. Just be clear with me thats the ONLY way I can be clear with you.
Thanks for reading! xo Love you all! P.S. The underlined phrase goes for everyone......... Current Mood: disappointedCurrent Music: None |
| Sunday, May 14th, 2006 |
| 6:09 pm |
hey!
Yeah i haven't been on here in ALONG time! But I love you all! Prom is in 4 days! YAY! xo |
| Thursday, February 2nd, 2006 |
| 2:14 am |
Music
So I just realized that music is what gets me through really tough times..... Just listening to it. Or singing it. What happens when its gone? What happens if what i'm doing makes me hate it? I can't let that happen. Music is seriously my life.... Its my passion and its the first thing i think about in the morning. Sorry just some thoughts! xo Current Mood: confusedCurrent Music: Cartel |
| 1:16 am |
Will someone care? Will i wake tomorrow, from this nightmare? Current Mood:  okayCurrent Music: Last 5 years |
| Tuesday, January 17th, 2006 |
| 1:21 pm |
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